gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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