This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
