Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
