I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
