Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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