I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
