12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
