I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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