I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
