wanna go halves on a baby?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
