All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
