Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
