On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
nutella sex= disaster
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
