Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
