I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
