Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
