I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
