We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize