i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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