The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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