i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
