i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
