My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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