i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
