my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
