angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
