Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
