i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
