halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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