Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
