I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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