And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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