I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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