I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
