Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
