your parents love me but you hate me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
