We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
