Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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