worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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