This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
