I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
