Walk of Shame. In a state park.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
