We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
