clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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