i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
