dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
