If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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