Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
