That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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