Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
