I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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