She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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