We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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