Christians are straight up FREAKS
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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