i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
