I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
