If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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