I bet he comes in French.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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