You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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