i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
