it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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